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“I’m Being Too Sensitive”- 2 Tools to Eliminate Self-Gaslighting.

Even if I was wrong in that situation, is it fair to say that my feelings don’t deserve to be validated and attended to? 

You almost self-gaslight yourself each time you minimize and suppress your thoughts and emotions regarding a particular situation.

Statements that you keep repeating in your head may look like:

“It’s not that bad”

“Maybe am being too sensitive”

“I don’t know what just happened, but let’s forget it.”

“I’m too dramatic, gosh why can’t I behave different.”

“What’s wrong with me”

Anxiety, shame, doubt, depression and guilt are the expected emotions that you may experience.

Two tools to break self-gaslighting and help you validate your very own emotions are:

1. Coping Statements that target self-validation.

Brainstorm and keep a few statements handy for the next time you find yourself self-gaslighting your feelings. Practice these statements a few times so that when you really need them, they’ll be available to you without an extra mental effort.

“It’s not about whether am right or wrong. It’s about how I feel in this moment.”

“Even if I made a mistake, my feelings of hurt are still valid.”

“I have forgiven them for what they did to me. But I still feel angry thinking about them. I’m allowed to feel so.”


2. Question yourself when you notice yourself doubting own reality.

It’s normal to doubt what we saw/heard/felt in a particular moment. Your brain will question yourself a thousand times in attempts to reach a conclusion. Unfortunately, it’s a mental loop with no ending.

Notice this when it happens and ask yourself:

Even if I was wrong in that situation, is it fair to say that my feelings don’t deserve to be validated and attended to?

Let’s say I’m over-reacting with what my partner did last time. Does that mean I’m supposed to ignore my anger and move on?

How helpful will it be if I acknowledge my feelings and then come up with a list of action steps that I can take in this moment?

About The Author: 
Sally is a psychotherapist and is insightful on mindful tools that’ll make our lives simpler. She also offers therapy online via email. For any thoughts, questions, inquiries- reach her out directly. She’ll be happy to hear from you.


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