Skip to main content

To the woman who's afraid to love herself.

"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. 

To the woman who would go self defeating lenghts to make others like her. To the women who would agree with others opinions even if she disagrees. 

To the woman who have held herself back. From being herself. To the one who feels indecisive because she needs someone to support her. 

The one who stiff up before speaking. That you bite your tongue because you fear what others would think. 

You avoid talking about your preferences. You work overtime just to feel desired by a group of people. 

 It's time to change. Even when you feel afraid. Even when you don't know how. It's time to show up for yourself. 

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.

Look into their eyes and tell people what you want to say. Speak up at work meetings. Tell your lover about your true desires. Go tell your new date that this is not your favorite restaurant but you prefer home cooked food. 

Your fear is related to your desire that they must love you. They must support you. And that they must appreciate you. 

Maybe with them by you side, you will run faster. But even without them, you will walk slow and reach your destination. Maybe it's a little easier with them, but it has costed you your own self. 

The validation you desire from others, you may not have it. 

The gentleness you need, may come with a condition. The support you are seeking, you think is helping you grow. But maybe costing you, your own sense of self. 

How liberating it can be, when you don't have to be someone else. How liberating it is to breathe the air that is lived by your own values. 

Allow the judgements to pass. Allow yourself to stop putting people above you. Allow yourself to stop holding them higher than your own reach. You can stop measuring your worth, looking up to other's expectations. 

To the woman filled with insecurities, worries, doubts, fear. Take the first step. 

It's scary. So do it slow. Move forward with fear. In the journey, allow yourself to process your feelings. Allow yourself to cry. To feel weak. To experience loneliness. Keep moving regardless. 


Popular posts from this blog

“I’m Being Too Sensitive”- 2 Tools to Eliminate Self-Gaslighting.

Even if I was wrong in that situation, is it fair to say that my feelings don’t deserve to be validated and attended to?   You almost self-gaslight yourself each time you minimize and suppress your thoughts and emotions regarding a particular situation. Statements that you keep repeating in your head may look like: “It’s not that bad” “Maybe am being too sensitive” “I don’t know what just happened, but let’s forget it.” “I’m too dramatic, gosh why can’t I behave different.” “What’s wrong with me” Anxiety, shame, doubt, depression and guilt are the expected emotions that you may experience. Two tools to break self-gaslighting and help you validate your very own emotions are: 1. Coping Statements that target self-validation. Brainstorm and keep a few statements handy for the next time you find yourself self-gaslighting your feelings. Practice these statements a few times so that when you really need them, they’ll be available to you without an extra mental

Can’t Stop Fixing people? – Overcome People Pleasing This Way.

  A behavioral pattern that drive you seek someone’s approval you had much needed. Your survival have been depended on fixing people. Knowing that brings you greater frustration, confusion and anger – here’s a small guide that may provoke how you think. What script are you often playing in your head? – Sit quietly and really identify. “If I fix/save this person’s problems, he/she will ___________.” “If I express my thoughts, they may __________.” “I feel accepted and loved when they _________.”   Your attempts will help you identify these two themes. 1) Either you are seeking validation/support from the person. (e.g. If only I manage to prove my potential to my parents/boss). 2) Or you are trying to control, manage, attend to or change - how someone thinks about you. (e.g. If only I save this person, he/she will desire a romantic relationship with me). Example:        Agreeing to things you don’t like        Doing things for people to earn their approval         Alwa