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Finding Ways To Self-Soothe Might Be Good For Your Anxiety.


“What’s that one simple thing that I keep for when I’m distressed or anxious?~ deep breaths! ”

Choosing to down-regulate or reduce the intensity of your anxiety is a healthier approach to your daily lifestyle. Learning how to self-soothe is beneficial for coping with everyday anxiety. It is as important for adults as it is for children.

By keeping a few self-soothe behaviours handy, helps you to cope in those tough moments. Whether it’s a bad day, or you are going through a difficult breakup. Whether your mind can’t stop thinking about those thousands of things that could go wrong the next day. Regulation of our emotions is like being able to attain personal balance. Below are a few ways to get you started:

Ask yourself: What works for me?

Your self soothe routine may prefer trying out tools that have a close relation with your thoughts. It may involve things like accepting discomforting emotions, shifting attention towards what’s helpful, replacing unhelpful thoughts, so on.

Self-talk also has an influence on how well you manage to soothe yourself when in distress. Is your self-talk most of the time a self-blaming and critical one? If so, then it may be a great option to start with.

You can also consider affirmations if nothing else seems suitable to you. Affirmations don’t have to be something you read on internet. You are free to come up with something that you think will be helpful to remind when you are distressed. They are good because they don’t require our brains to process when in pain.  


Self-Soothing: Behaviours

Maybe you had a long day, maybe you are just occupied with more work. Sometimes it’s just difficult to tap into the internal processes at all costs, no matter how helpful that might be.

In those instances, you can focus on something that involves external processes. Specifically, behaviours that are visible to the naked eyes and could be attempted without much emotional energy.

Several studies have demonstrated how even a simple act of holding oneself can be a great act to soothe ourselves and helps attain the goal of validating our feelings t the moment. IT helps calm the nervous system down and lowers the intensity of our anxiety.

Just like infants who need their mother to pat on their back, it helps calm them down. Similarly, we adults need a source to offer ourselves the same effect that we once had.


Other acts of self-soothing may involve –

  • Performing yoga
  • Deep breathing
  • Meditation
  • Writing a journal
  • Counting numbers 10 to 1
  • Scented candles
  • Trying out a recipe.


How to go about it?

There is no one perfect strategy that will always work.

A self-soothing act of living your daily life doesn’t mean you are to choose one strategy. And that, if it doesn’t fit you, then you are the problem here. No, that’s an incorrect manner of doing it.

Allow three or four strategies to mix and match with each other and be curious about what is working for you. Some strategies you won't find on the internet, but as long as it is helping you cope with your emotions, keep using it.

Some strategies that once worked for you, may no longer do. That’s completely okay as we grow with time, and our needs, values and goals improve along with it.


Important questions to get started.

Which area of my life would I want to incorporate self-soothing?

Differentiating adaptive vs non-adaptive behaviours to self soothe.

Finding subtle gaps in our routine to make yourself acquainted with self-soothing.



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