Skip to main content

You're Not Overthinking Over Someone's Confusing Behavior.

Someone's approach and withdrawn behavior will be confusing. Their lack of reciprocity and intention will be hurtful enough. You're not overthinking, you're just trying to make sense of the things that they constantly sweep under the rug. 

You're not overthinking when someone's inconsistent actions confuse you. When you're unable to interpret their mixed messages. When you're struggling with making sense of their words that mismatch their behavior. 

A connection is never ruined with the existence of your boundaries. In the long run, they are ruined when you allow the person to step your boundaries. When your internal resentment and anger become the only means to maintain a connection with someone. When you let your internal guilt decide how strong your boundaries should how strong should your boundaries be. 

It is guilt-provoking when you attempt to set emotional boundaries. Because you haven't drawn out a conclusion to their inconsistent behavior and mixed signals. After their reaction to those, you may question your decision to set boundaries. You will be tempted to escape from that guilt. Leaving you unhappy and unsatisfied in your relationship. 

But you must tell yourself, that you nurture your relationships when you are aware of your intention to set boundaries. They grow when you hold yourself accountable. You seek connections in the presence of your behavioral choices. Not by cursing or punishing them. 

You nurture your relationships when you set emotional boundaries. What is my intent behind setting this boundary? What are my emotions that have followed along? You add a sense of psychological flexibility when you accept these emotions. You make space for others' resentment and revoke your boundary to exist. 


Popular posts from this blog

“I’m Being Too Sensitive”- 2 Tools to Eliminate Self-Gaslighting.

Even if I was wrong in that situation, is it fair to say that my feelings don’t deserve to be validated and attended to?   You almost self-gaslight yourself each time you minimize and suppress your thoughts and emotions regarding a particular situation. Statements that you keep repeating in your head may look like: “It’s not that bad” “Maybe am being too sensitive” “I don’t know what just happened, but let’s forget it.” “I’m too dramatic, gosh why can’t I behave different.” “What’s wrong with me” Anxiety, shame, doubt, depression and guilt are the expected emotions that you may experience. Two tools to break self-gaslighting and help you validate your very own emotions are: 1. Coping Statements that target self-validation. Brainstorm and keep a few statements handy for the next time you find yourself self-gaslighting your feelings. Practice these statements a few times so that when you really need them, they’ll be available to you without an extra mental

Can’t Stop Fixing people? – Overcome People Pleasing This Way.

  A behavioral pattern that drive you seek someone’s approval you had much needed. Your survival have been depended on fixing people. Knowing that brings you greater frustration, confusion and anger – here’s a small guide that may provoke how you think. What script are you often playing in your head? – Sit quietly and really identify. “If I fix/save this person’s problems, he/she will ___________.” “If I express my thoughts, they may __________.” “I feel accepted and loved when they _________.”   Your attempts will help you identify these two themes. 1) Either you are seeking validation/support from the person. (e.g. If only I manage to prove my potential to my parents/boss). 2) Or you are trying to control, manage, attend to or change - how someone thinks about you. (e.g. If only I save this person, he/she will desire a romantic relationship with me). Example:        Agreeing to things you don’t like        Doing things for people to earn their approval         Alwa

To the woman who's afraid to love herself.

"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.  To the woman who would go self defeating lenghts to make others like her. To the women who would agree with others opinions even if she disagrees.  To the woman who have held herself back. From being herself. To the one who feels indecisive because she needs someone to support her.  The one who stiff up before speaking. That you bite your tongue because you fear what others would think.  You avoid talking about your preferences. You work overtime just to feel desired by a group of people.   It's time to change. Even when you feel afraid. Even when you don't know how. It's time to show up for yourself.  If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. Look into their eyes and tell people what you want to say. Speak up at work meetings. Tell your lover about your true desires. Go tell your new date that this is not your fa