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Showing posts with the label Cognitive behavioral therapy

What To Do With Repetitive Thoughts In Your Head?

  You’re in a pub with your friends. Suddenly in the back of your head, you have a thought — “ They think I’m an idiot. They would probably reject me. ” In response, you try to distract yourself, focus on drinking and withdraw from those around you.  Illustration by Mamewmy Take another scenario where you have travelled across a town to visit a friend at 11am, but he doesn’t show up. To interpret the situation, you may say — “ He doesn’t like me .” Now you’re distressed and later that evening you experience difficulty in falling asleep. Williams in a  2018 report  stated that these repetitive thoughts occur because of   an existing  bias   against ourselves . In such a case, you overlook your strengths, downplay your achievements and focus on your weaknesses. He explains that, when you have thoughts like ‘ others don’t like me ’ - you are attempting to  evaluate how others see you . What they are thinking of you would be your core concern.  Similarly thoughts like ‘ Oh, i should have r

The Idea Of Acceptance Is Vague. Here's Why.

 Acceptance is not when we decide to free ourselves from the pain that we hold inside. Not when letting go is the only option to seek the path to freedom and peace. Not when holding on is hurting you more until you can't bear it.  Acceptance does not mean seeking peace. Acceptance does not mean picking others' advice and deciding to no longer think about it. Neither does it mean to forget the person who we loved so dearly, just the next moment. Acceptance in itself may result in peace but however, does not mean shutting yourself off from those thoughts that were important to you once.  The idea of acceptance may lead you to empty gaps. These gaps may make you wanna seek other people, other situations, and different approaches that would be opposite to your very own healing. When your true intention might be to attain inner peace.  Acceptance, unlike what they say, requires you to sit and break those pieces of information, about a moment or person. Only then can you meet content

The "Shoulds" Of Being A "Bigger Person" That You Must Let Go.

  What if being a bigger person meant that you acknowledge how you really feel? Being hurt by a partner’s words. Misled by someone else’s wrong doings. Felt angry, but didn’t want to appear crazy. Whether in a relationship with your partner or interacting with a younger sibling, how often in one day a voice inside you tells you- “but you should be the bigger person” no matter what.   1. I Should Be ‘Excusing’ their offense towards Me. By excusing their offense, you are minimizing your honest feelings about their actions. You give yourself an opportunity to deny your own feelings and needs in that particular situation. Neither could you then sit and actually process the true emotions that will help you process and move on. Something that doesn’t allow you to take a pause and ask yourself, "okay this is how I feel. Let's see what can I do about it now." What if being a bigger person meant that you acknowledge how you really feel? By doing so, you a