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Showing posts with the label Coping Tools

What To Do With Repetitive Thoughts In Your Head?

  You’re in a pub with your friends. Suddenly in the back of your head, you have a thought — “ They think I’m an idiot. They would probably reject me. ” In response, you try to distract yourself, focus on drinking and withdraw from those around you.  Illustration by Mamewmy Take another scenario where you have travelled across a town to visit a friend at 11am, but he doesn’t show up. To interpret the situation, you may say — “ He doesn’t like me .” Now you’re distressed and later that evening you experience difficulty in falling asleep. Williams in a  2018 report  stated that these repetitive thoughts occur because of   an existing  bias   against ourselves . In such a case, you overlook your strengths, downplay your achievements and focus on your weaknesses. He explains that, when you have thoughts like ‘ others don’t like me ’ - you are attempting to  evaluate how others see you . What they are thinking of you would be your core concern.  Similarly thoughts like ‘ Oh, i should have r

Even On Our Anxious Days, We Grow: A Perspective.

Those hard days are an ever learning and ever-adapting form of the ways that we choose to cope with. You may not have all the answers but that is what we one may say, as a learning phase.  To want to get rid of feelings of uncertainty, those moments of anxiety that no one talks about. It grows bad enough for you may end up frustrated.  The desire to see yourself as happy as others, without the presence of triggers around, remains a desire. For it may feel that something just stole years of your life.  Being stuck in ways and thoughts and constantly fighting for it, while others are passing by with marks of achievement is a terrifying feeling to exist in. These are your hard days where you battle between fight or flight modes of your nervous system. Either you avoid your feelings of abandonment, or exert your control, hard enough to attain it. But you don't need both. For there is still growing among those, without a language.  There is no language for the choices you still get. No

How To Connect With Your Feelings And Make Better Decisions?

Connecting with our feelings can be an overwhelming task to do. And so does when we have to disconnect with them. When there is a whole range of emotions that we attempt to decide and figure out the meaning of, only to seek clarity about a situation.  We often attempt to connect with our feelings. But it becomes a struggle when we do so by targeting the "intensity" of these feelings. "The greater the intensity, the more we must push ourselves to achieve clarity" - is when we lie to ourselves. When we fail to achieve clarity, we move towards disconnecting with those.  Moreover, you will know you are disconnecting from your feelings when you dismiss or minimize your reality. The more connected you are with the intensity of your feelings, the more dismissive you may find yourself. "I must not feel upset about it", "why did that happen to me. "  When instead connection looks more like caring for yourself, especially when you notice the intensity of y

Finding Ways To Self-Soothe Might Be Good For Your Anxiety.

  “What’s that one simple thing that I keep for when I’m distressed or anxious?~ deep breaths! ” Choosing to down-regulate or reduce the intensity of your anxiety is a healthier approach to your daily lifestyle. Learning how to self-soothe is beneficial for coping with everyday anxiety. It is as important for adults as it is for children. By keeping a few self-soothe behaviours handy, helps you to cope in those tough moments. Whether it’s a bad day, or you are going through a difficult breakup. Whether your mind can’t stop thinking about those thousands of things that could go wrong the next day. Regulation of our emotions is like being able to attain personal balance. Below are a few ways to get you started: Ask yourself: What works for me? Your self soothe routine may prefer trying out tools that have a close relation with your thoughts. It may involve things like accepting discomforting emotions, shifting attention towards what’s helpful, replacing unhelpful thoughts , so o

Three Acceptance Tools to Cope with Anxiety.

Whether it’s a situation or a choice, we often get fixated on never-ending list of questions as an attempt to cope with the anxiety. It may look like we are in a deep thought process, with inner statements that look like  “ If only I think about it long enough, I’m sure I will find a way.”   “If I don’t think long enough, I may miss the answers that may occur suddenly”   “That’s not what I expected to happen.” “I can’t deal with the fact that I didn’t get that job.” “What have I done for my partner to leave me?” “How will I manage to live without this now?” “I can’t tolerate this at all.”   The purpose of Anxiety is control. Things that lead us fearful or uncertain about people, places or events in our life; is more likely you will want to control it. Because you are not ready to face those uncertain feelings. When this happens, you will find yourself – running away, fighting against, chasing after things that don’t appear to be modified or changed. Acceptance as a copin