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Showing posts with the label Self help

What Americans Really Need To Better Manage Their Spendings: It’s Less About Controlling Impulses.

  You visit your friends’ house and come to know about a great deal over an expensive product. “ No Stephan, don’t forget — you don’t wanna add anymore expense to your credit card .”  However, you end up buying because why not? Although being an unplanned purchase, you feel good about having it. “ Being discounted is still better than buying it on its full price .”  Credits: Ron Lach / Pexels An Estimate of Your Pocket Consider  spending habits.  An average American is not so fond of his spending in general. A  survey  pointed out that, one in three Americans regret the spending habits they hold. The  Millennials and Generation X  are the ones with high regrets in their spending, especially on non-essentials such as fast-foods and latte. What’s needed for them is — to perform planned spending, and to draw limits onto these. However, despite knowing the essentials, they still fall into impulsive spending. Lets take a  survey  that showed how 71% of Americans agreed that they indulge int

What To Do With Repetitive Thoughts In Your Head?

  You’re in a pub with your friends. Suddenly in the back of your head, you have a thought — “ They think I’m an idiot. They would probably reject me. ” In response, you try to distract yourself, focus on drinking and withdraw from those around you.  Illustration by Mamewmy Take another scenario where you have travelled across a town to visit a friend at 11am, but he doesn’t show up. To interpret the situation, you may say — “ He doesn’t like me .” Now you’re distressed and later that evening you experience difficulty in falling asleep. Williams in a  2018 report  stated that these repetitive thoughts occur because of   an existing  bias   against ourselves . In such a case, you overlook your strengths, downplay your achievements and focus on your weaknesses. He explains that, when you have thoughts like ‘ others don’t like me ’ - you are attempting to  evaluate how others see you . What they are thinking of you would be your core concern.  Similarly thoughts like ‘ Oh, i should have r

The Anxiety That Comes In When You Don't Know What You're Looking For.

It is important that you learn to be happy for the things that others have but you don't. But it is also important that you learn to allow yourself to not have found what you were looking for.  In a world that constantly have you battling with yourself - self-doubt is an expected phenomenon. In a world that will always leave you questioning "what next" have you achieved and "where next" will you go. It is important that you allow the empty spaces to be the source to explore yourself. To explore the options you have and engage in rational decision-making. Rather than fearing those lack of answers.  The uncertainty that you are obsessing over, maybe the goal of it is not to find "what's next." Maybe the goal of your uncertainty is to learn ways to make peace with its existence. It is to have no answers and engage in seeking new pieces of information. It is to allow anxiety to let in without needing to escape from its gaps. It is to navigate through y

“I’m Being Too Sensitive”- 2 Tools to Eliminate Self-Gaslighting.

Even if I was wrong in that situation, is it fair to say that my feelings don’t deserve to be validated and attended to?   You almost self-gaslight yourself each time you minimize and suppress your thoughts and emotions regarding a particular situation. Statements that you keep repeating in your head may look like: “It’s not that bad” “Maybe am being too sensitive” “I don’t know what just happened, but let’s forget it.” “I’m too dramatic, gosh why can’t I behave different.” “What’s wrong with me” Anxiety, shame, doubt, depression and guilt are the expected emotions that you may experience. Two tools to break self-gaslighting and help you validate your very own emotions are: 1. Coping Statements that target self-validation. Brainstorm and keep a few statements handy for the next time you find yourself self-gaslighting your feelings. Practice these statements a few times so that when you really need them, they’ll be available to you without an extra mental

"If you break my heart, I won't run after you". Two non-negotiables for after a break- up

On my hard days, I crave of someone who'd recognize and acknowledge my achievements. Someone to see the beauty inside me. Someone to tell me that my thoughts make sense. And that am not crazy for asking the bare minimum. I guess it is reasonable to ask for that.  If I was mindful of my own fears, I'd know how to deal. I've kept protecting myself for a longer time now.  "I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice."  Over the years, I have concluded: The people I love, may leave. The places I've visited, may erode away. Then why should the person I was once yesterday, still remain today?  I won't negotiate my way to keep you in my life.  I will no longer convince you of my worth. I won't give in to your requests, to convince that I'm the right one for you. I wont spend my day, moulding myself into the perception of you.  If you break my heart, I won't run after you to keep you. N