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How To Set New Standards for Personal Recovery & Healing.

It takes only a micro-shift that will allow us to access new beginnings and another perspective. New standards for a living may begin if only could we remain in the same situation and yet shift the context of our being. If only can we set time apart for the context we would prefer to live in.  The process of recovery, healing, moving on, or developing a new manner of living evolves when we give it the structure that is needed. The structure of our living may not be easy when we move through it, mindlessly. When our brain is not given a chance to take a pause, pick up a journal and break those emotions of pain, into as many pieces as it would. Only to further process each one of those individually. When we are too fearful that suppression of it feels easier than sitting with it.  To structure our living, our use of intention may serve us. To go about the day be mindful of the choices available to us. About the actions, we pick, despite the urges that play opposite to our desired standar

How To Connect With Your Feelings And Make Better Decisions?

Connecting with our feelings can be an overwhelming task to do. And so does when we have to disconnect with them. When there is a whole range of emotions that we attempt to decide and figure out the meaning of, only to seek clarity about a situation.  We often attempt to connect with our feelings. But it becomes a struggle when we do so by targeting the "intensity" of these feelings. "The greater the intensity, the more we must push ourselves to achieve clarity" - is when we lie to ourselves. When we fail to achieve clarity, we move towards disconnecting with those.  Moreover, you will know you are disconnecting from your feelings when you dismiss or minimize your reality. The more connected you are with the intensity of your feelings, the more dismissive you may find yourself. "I must not feel upset about it", "why did that happen to me. "  When instead connection looks more like caring for yourself, especially when you notice the intensity of y

What Does It Really Mean To Hold Regard For Someone?

  To really hold regard for someone, might mean to re-consider our expectations towards the "shoulds" in that relationship.  It is when you need the time to sit alone and process the hard times all by yourselves, but you also ensure the person’s happiness over you. It is when you know you don’t have much to offer, and yet hold the consideration that maybe one day you will. With the right time and the next moment. When discussing together those hard, difficult, and uncomfortable emotions seems much easier than suppressing them and fearing them. When you know that you will be offered the safe space that you didn’t even know you needed, for your emotions to flow naturally. Without your conscious mind having to control it. It is that feeling where you sacrifice your needs to not seek their approval, but rather to show yours to them. It is when you lack the courage to apologize or take responsibility for your actions, but couldn’t bear the idea of seeing them hurt. There are not m

The Idea Of Acceptance Is Vague. Here's Why.

 Acceptance is not when we decide to free ourselves from the pain that we hold inside. Not when letting go is the only option to seek the path to freedom and peace. Not when holding on is hurting you more until you can't bear it.  Acceptance does not mean seeking peace. Acceptance does not mean picking others' advice and deciding to no longer think about it. Neither does it mean to forget the person who we loved so dearly, just the next moment. Acceptance in itself may result in peace but however, does not mean shutting yourself off from those thoughts that were important to you once.  The idea of acceptance may lead you to empty gaps. These gaps may make you wanna seek other people, other situations, and different approaches that would be opposite to your very own healing. When your true intention might be to attain inner peace.  Acceptance, unlike what they say, requires you to sit and break those pieces of information, about a moment or person. Only then can you meet content

How To Have Hard Conversations

  To be able to present our truth in an assertive, kind can be much more empowering than telling ourselves “But I don’t want to hurt them.” Conversations can grow hard when we desire to convey a message or a piece of truth to someone. We play a little scenario in our heads where the moment might sooner go down the hill, heating the moment and ruining our relationship with the person. Hard conversations and Lashing out. Anger and fear are those hard emotions that emerge with the thought of conveying our truth to someone. It is not an unusual thing if you are often suppressing in, avoiding the point, and even lashing out around people. We are functional human beings wired for our survival, within social situations. The strategies that we use and the emotions that draw us are helpful to our protection. To be able to effectively regulate those emotions will require us the time and mental space to obtain a sense of “safety.” To be able to divide the accumulated emotions and information

Finding Ways To Self-Soothe Might Be Good For Your Anxiety.

  “What’s that one simple thing that I keep for when I’m distressed or anxious?~ deep breaths! ” Choosing to down-regulate or reduce the intensity of your anxiety is a healthier approach to your daily lifestyle. Learning how to self-soothe is beneficial for coping with everyday anxiety. It is as important for adults as it is for children. By keeping a few self-soothe behaviours handy, helps you to cope in those tough moments. Whether it’s a bad day, or you are going through a difficult breakup. Whether your mind can’t stop thinking about those thousands of things that could go wrong the next day. Regulation of our emotions is like being able to attain personal balance. Below are a few ways to get you started: Ask yourself: What works for me? Your self soothe routine may prefer trying out tools that have a close relation with your thoughts. It may involve things like accepting discomforting emotions, shifting attention towards what’s helpful, replacing unhelpful thoughts , so o

Three Acceptance Tools to Cope with Anxiety.

Whether it’s a situation or a choice, we often get fixated on never-ending list of questions as an attempt to cope with the anxiety. It may look like we are in a deep thought process, with inner statements that look like  “ If only I think about it long enough, I’m sure I will find a way.”   “If I don’t think long enough, I may miss the answers that may occur suddenly”   “That’s not what I expected to happen.” “I can’t deal with the fact that I didn’t get that job.” “What have I done for my partner to leave me?” “How will I manage to live without this now?” “I can’t tolerate this at all.”   The purpose of Anxiety is control. Things that lead us fearful or uncertain about people, places or events in our life; is more likely you will want to control it. Because you are not ready to face those uncertain feelings. When this happens, you will find yourself – running away, fighting against, chasing after things that don’t appear to be modified or changed. Acceptance as a copin